I been working so hard, I'm punching my card. Eight hours--for what? Oh, tell me what I got...

Ever choreograph a song for 15 third graders?  In case you ever find yourself wanting to do so (perhaps you're a glutton for punishment), just follow these 4 easy steps to help simulate the dancing experience:

1)  Round up stray neighborhood cats.
2)  Starve them for a couple days until they're good and feisty.
3)  Toss a small bit of tuna into the cat crowd.
4)  Press play.

That's been my world for the past week.  Not only am I a teacher, I'm a choreographer.  Why doesn't it look this hard on Dancing with the Stars?

We perform this Friday to "Footloose".  To kill time, I gave each kid a solo.  God help us.

It's also report card / parent conference week.  The good times just keep on rollin'.  If I manage to make it through the week sober in one piece, I'll consider it a success.

A Heart to Heart

...with myself.  After a 2 month absence, I return from obscurity to announce that I'm still a teacher.  That sounds odd, but trust me when I tell you that making the decision to remain one has not been easy.  Suffice it to say that it's been one hell of a ride so far.

Mentally, I've been all over the place.  Breaking down in tears was a weekly occurrence.  My poor boyfriend has talked me down off the ledge many a time.  He's been so patient and helpful during this whole thing--I give him a lot of credit for putting up with me.  I've been a fickle, crazy (and sometimes irrational) person.

Essentially I contemplated going back to my previous job (since they still haven't filled it), but after much time (and worrying) and doubts (and worrying) and guilt (and worrying), I came to the conclusion--as recently as 4 days ago, in fact--that this is what I'm supposed to be doing.  It's not without its problems, but it helps knowing that I've made the right decision.

All that said, I apologize for my blog-reading negligence! I'll be making the rounds during the next few days.  It's good to be back--God knows I need an outlet!  So if you stick with me, you'll get the behind-the-scenes look at what it's like to be surrounded by 8 year olds all day long.  The funny.  The crazy.  The absolutely unpredictable world of teaching.

And so it begins...

Is it just me or does everyone struggle to form coherent sentences when they've got 100 things on their mind?  I sat here staring at the blinking cursor for a full 10 minutes before I could even start this post.  Again, I have to give you the Reader's Digest version of events:

July flew by.  If I didn't know better I'd swear we'd skipped over the month entirely.  The 28th was my last day of work and I promised myself 2 things:  that I'd leave at noon and that I wouldn't cry.  Failed on both counts.  I was fine until my supervisor started the "you'll be great, we'll miss you" speech.  Yeah, totally lost it.

I've been working on my classroom every day for the past week.  Hours at a time.  And every time I leave the room, I'm struck by the thought, "Shouldn't it be looking better?!"  I had to just sit and stare in disbelief on Friday.  And bulletin boards?  More complicated than you might think, my friends.  I worked on one for an hour.  The sad thing?  I didn't even put anything on it--just trying to get the fabric and borders up. 

I've been without internet access since Tuesday--using my BlackBerry (cute as it is) just isn't the same. 

I've been remiss in my blog visiting duties, but I promise to make the rounds soon!  Classroom picture updates are coming soon(ish)!  Inservice starts on Monday so I'll hopefully have more regular access by next week.  I can't believe school starts on the 12th!  In 11 days I'll be someone's "teacher"...well, 20 someones, actually.  Start praying for those kids (and me) now!

It's hard to find time to blog when you're plotting your Texas Chainsaw Revenge...

It's been so long since I started this post that the righteous indignation I felt when I originally wrote the title has come to a low boil.  Which is surprising because I started out wanting some vigilante justice.  Blood-shed.  Floggings.  Goes to show what time (and being crazy busy) can do.

Rather than take you through the madness minutiae of the past month, I'll just break it down like this:

3 weeks ago

Everyone at work was on crazy pills.  There was back-stabbing. Shady dealings. And I was on the receiving end of all of it.  Hence the Texas Chainsaw Revenge.

2 weeks ago

We started interviewing for my replacement.  Essentially I gave the applications a once-over, sorted them into "likely" and "unlikely" candidates and we brought them in for interviews. Looking for a job?  Allow me to give you some helpful hints:

1.  Spell-check is your friend.  You're applying for a job.  A job.  Where people pay you to not be an idiot.

2.  Shorten your resume to semi-current, relevant experience and tailor it to the job you're looking for.  I don't want to know that you worked for BlockBuster Video in 1984.  "Seeking a teaching position in early childhood education" is all well and good...if we were hiring teachers.  Which we're not.

3.  Don't put your picture on your resume.  Especially if the aforementioned picture isn't a flattering one.  Comb your hair.

4.  I take everything on a resume at face value.  If you refer to yourself as "computer illeterate", I'm going to believe you (and mock your spelling and stupidity).

5.  When you show up to an interview, dress nicely.  White capris, a sleeveless shirt and hot pink flip-flops do not appropriate business attire make.  Yes, this is Houston.  Yes, our heat index is 104 most days.  A suit won't kill you.  But I might.


In between all this, I've been trying to get stuff ready for my classroom.   Needless to say, it's been more than a little hectic around here.

My one link to sanity has been my wonderfully awesome boyfriend.  We celebrated our 6 year anniversary in Austin about a week ago--a much needed getaway to say the least.  He's been there when I was on the brink madness.  You know you have a keeper when he can make you laugh in the middle of your hysterical crying.  Not to mention, I'm a handful on my good days.  To say that I'm lucky doesn't even begin to cover it.

"Thank you for stopping by. The person sitting at this desk is merely for show. Her brain is already in teaching-mode. Please leave a message." Beep!

I still have over a month and a half left here, but I find myself caring less and less about my work product.  It comes and goes.  One minute I'm problem-solving, putting out fires right and left...and the next I'm watching Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Zach Morris on the Jimmy Fallon show via YouTube--which, by the way, if you haven't seen it, you're missing out.  Too funny.  Not "Motherlover" funny like Justin Timberlake's SNL bit, but still worth a viewing.

The little things are starting to annoy me, too.  Me, who has such a high tolerance for all things annoying and stupid.  I know.  I've alerted the media.

Anyway, to retain a bit of sanity I've decided to participate in this meme from E at Tear Stained Reflections:

Five Things That Make Me Happy

1.  My main squeeze!  The caramel in my macchiato.  The root beer in my float.  The Luke to my Lorelai.

2.  Coffee!  Vanilla hazelnut is my flavor of choice.

3.  My classroom!  I've been dropping things off over the past couple weeks.  I promised pictures last time, didn't I?  Okay, see below.

4.  Frasier!  I am in LOVE with this show.  I can watch it over and over.  Something about it is so calming.  And David Hyde Pierce?  Made that show.

5.  Super Chunk! The name of our future puppy (who incidentally is named after a type of peanut butter).  The main squeeze has finally agreed to get one (in the near-ish future).  Now I just have to talk him out of getting a bulldog.  They drool, snore and fart.  How would he be able to tell us apart?!  Although I probably burp louder now that I think about it.

As promised: